Week 22.22 You Can't Read Your Label

Thoughts on how hard it is to know yourself, how others can be helpful and how important it is to help others.

For a large part of my career, I was a brand strategist working with companies large and small to understand the company's essence and express that idea in brand mission, vision, values, and, in later years, purpose. I listened to as many voices of the company as possible. I heard from the founders, either in person or through archives. I listened to what the customers thought of the company. Then I would synthesize the information to find the points of commonality, and the voice of the crowd revealed the truth. And then, I would simplify what I heard into a phrase that rang true to everyone. It is my superpower.

When I turned my attention to executive coaching and leadership, I noticed that leaders, like companies, often could not describe themselves with precision. They could talk about what they could achieve, plans, and their futures. Sometimes they would talk about their strengths; inevitably, they had it somewhat correct but were off the mark. Often it was an expression of what they wanted to be. Perhaps it was something they were told when they were growing up, and it was self-reinforcing.

People are complicated. We have dreams and aspirations. We have histories from which we create stories that we tell ourselves about who we are. We hear people praise or criticize us, and through the filter of who we think we are, we adjust. And after a while, we, like those companies I used to work for, are too close to ourselves to know who we are. Getting clarity on who you are is critical to success, productivity, and happiness. The ambition should be to understand who you are and live that understanding in as many aspects of your life as possible. As I like to say, the jam can't read the label on the jar.

There are many titles for this idea of knowing who you are, such as your personal brand and your purpose. I want to bypass a label because they are all slightly misleading, even though they refer to the same thing. The only thing that matters is whether the description rings true for you. Is it actionable in a way that can guide the decisions you make? Does it limit you in some ways and expand your potential in others.

The same superpower I had for companies also applies to people. Here is what I do. I listen to the person speak about themself, hear their history, highlights, failures, what they are proud of, and sometimes what they would rather not reveal. What they choose to say is up to them. My role is to listen without attachment or judgment. I am simply listening for the ideas that repeat, line up and create harmonic resonance. I am patient, and my questions are only for more or deeper information. As they speak, the essence of what they are saying becomes clearer. Soon, what they are saying creates a more nuanced expression and allows me to refine the simple reveal of who they are at that moment. When they hear it, they generally light up in agreement, are relaxed and relieved, and start telling me how this clarifies what they plan to do next.

It is harder to do this for people I know well because I have too much information to hear the signal from noise. It is impossible to do for myself. In life and leadership, it is critical for us to know who we are and to understand the essence of the people we lead and love. In seeing them for who they are and listening to them without judgment or attachment, we can more faithfully support them in achieving their life's goals and objectives. We can help them find the right place for them, which will inevitably be the place that is right for the companies we lead and us.

And most importantly, we need to have the humility to recognize that it is tough to see ourselves clearly. Then we need to listen intently and seek feedback. We need external, impartial experts to help us see ourselves more fully. We can and will change over time. And as we do, we will need to go back to our trusted, impartial experts to get clarity on what we care about. Because no matter how hard you try, it is difficult to read your label.

The real reason you feel so busy (and what to do about it) Dorie Clark on TEDx

"So I would like to propose that we make a change. Because if we are ever going to succeed in beating back busyness once and for all, first of all, we have to get real and acknowledge what is actually behind some of the busyness that is filling our days. We have to really get honest about what it is that’s motivating us so that we can make a different choice. Because it is about our choice. We need to recognize that real freedom is about creating the space so that we can breathe, the space so that we can think. Ultimately, real freedom is about choosing how and with whom we want to be spending our time."

Serving Clients with Your Design Vision a new course on LinkedIn Learning with Oshoke Abalu

Want to delight clients and produce the most authentic design work of your career? Try looking inward. Join designer and futurist Oshoke Abalu as she shares everyday practices that can help you tap into your unique design vision so that you can better serve your clients’ needs. Oshoke begins by addressing why it is critical to discover what you truly love so you can use your passion and experience as a “superpower” to create a powerful and intentional design narrative. With a clarity of vision informed by your unique strengths, your work can then tell the story of who you are as a designer and allow you to use your superpower-inspired design vision to address real client problems and meet their unmet needs.

36# - The Hierarchy of Purpose: A Framework for Prioritizing Your Projects by Antonio Nieto-Rodriguez (#1 Project Management Expert)

Significant evidence exists that organizations with the strongest focus on prioritization outperform the competition. Their leaders are laser-focused, not afraid of making tough decisions, and highly disciplined in executing their strategies until goals are achieved. Despite the strategic relevance of prioritization, the available methods for carrying it out are outdated and theoretical: They perform well in a test environment with a limited number of projects; they look good on paper; yet, when they are applied to a real work situation, with hundreds and thousands of programs and projects, they fail miserably. To address the challenges of prioritization that Antonio has confronted throughout his career, he developed a simple framework called the Hierarchy of Purpose. Following are its five principles: Purpose, Priorities, Projects, People, and Performance. Read more on LinkedIn here and more in HBR "How to Prioritize Your Company's Projects" here.

"A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom." Bob Dylan

With love and gratitude, Scott