Week 23.12 Choose Love Over Fear

West Wing is my guilty pleasure. It is one of the most perfect series ever created - the writing and acting are spot on, and even the camera work is worthy of examination and marvel. More than anything else, Aaron Sorkin and the writers have infused so much heart and wisdom into each episode that I find myself either learning something new or being reminded of something I need to remember in each episode. In Season 3, Episode 6, there is a moment so small it does not make it into the summary. Tucked in the middle of this show is a profound leadership lesson. 

The scene is during the middle of the campaign and Toby Ziegler, White House Communications director. As the episode plays out, it comes to light that a reporter has heard Toby say to a colleague that he thought that if the President won, it would be on the coattails of the Vice-President. Obviously, this getting out would be an embarrassment for Ziegler and the President. He calls for a meeting of all junior staffers (not just the ones in the meeting) and has them immediately in a room in the basement. In the past, this kind of leak was addressed aggressively. Surprising, he takes a different course, as says:

"We're a group. We're a team. From the President and Leo on through, we're a team. We win together. We lose together. We celebrate and mourn together, and defeats are softer and our victories sweeter because we did them together... It's great to have the scoop, the skinny, to go to a reporter and say, “I know something you don't know.” And so the press becomes your constituents, and you sell out the team. We are not going to have a witch hunt... I'm not going to huff and puff; I'm not going to take anyone's head off. I'm simply going to say this: You're my guys, and I'm yours. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you." And then silently leaves the room.

It is an unexpected re-framing of a consistently acerbic character. Somewhat uncharacteristically, he uses the opportunity not to deliver fear but to deliver love. He seizes the moment to compassionately share his sense of loyalty to the people he works with and why being a team is so much more valuable than the momentary feeling of superiority of being in the know. The writing is perfect, and the mood is sublime. Rather than tearing down, he is building up. As we witness the room, we can understand the power of leadership, grace, and love that builds teams into the greatest force for change. 

In life and leadership, we are presented with big and small choices at every turn. We can feel the friction and attack the problem or see the growth and lean into expansion. Many of the conversations we have been having recently are about growing together rather than tearing apart. It is about increasing collective value over increasing personal worth. It is certainly one of the most important topics of our time as we battle with the recognition that we live in a finite material world and the only place we have unlimited growth is through and within relationships. The episode aired on Nov 7, 2001, and is as fresh and current today as ever. It is a beautiful reminder that we can choose love over fear in every moment. 

6 Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Frustrated with Your Team by Amii Barnard-Bahn, JD, PCC and Dr. Noémie Le Pertel, EdD, MPH (HBR)

Today’s managers are under a lot of pressure. When it’s a constant strain to get work done, it’s easy to have a short fuse. When expectations aren’t met, the brain short-circuits to judgment and reaction. This is exactly the opposite of what your employees need. In healthy workplace cultures, leaders know how to balance accountability for results with empathy. One way to do this is to aim for reflection instead of reaction. These six questions will help managers revisit their expectations and ensure they’re centering empathy in their attempts to encourage performance. Self-reflection takes discipline and time — and the investment is worth the reward. Companies with managers who cultivate strong relationships with their employees experience higher loyalty, trust, productivity, and joy. Use these reflection questions as a guide to bridge any gaps in your expectations. Making the conscious decision to drive performance from empathy is the difference between the true competitive advantage — discretionary effort — and punching the clock. These actions differentiate managers from leaders.

Coaching Your Team as a Collective Makes It Stronger by Sanyin Siang and Mike Canning (HBR)

 Until recently, coaching was considered primarily a one-on-one practice. But no matter how effective employees are on their own, they can only contribute to the real power of the collective if their managers provide them with coaching as a group. In this practice, which the authors call team coaching, a leader’s role is to support the team as an organic unit, providing guidance, setting routines, and practices, and creating constant opportunities for group learning. In this article, the authors describe three of the tools and techniques of team coaching that they’ve found to be the most important for fostering accelerated learning and successful outcomes. Teams today have to learn how to deliver results in shorter cycles with fewer resources. They need leaders who can help them learn collectively from their successes and failures, optimize their performance, and adapt quickly to changing demands. Leaders who adopt the approaches to team coaching that we’ve outlined in this article are well-positioned to achieve this and, in so doing, can successfully differentiate their businesses by drawing on the remarkable power of the collective.

JA Worldwide Nominated for the 2023 Nobel Peace Prize

Founded 104 years ago, JA is now one of the largest youth-serving NGOs in the world, delivering over 15 million student learning experiences for employment and entrepreneurship in the last year alone. Operating in over 100 countries, JA teaches youth to develop the skillset and mindset to create businesses, find meaningful employment, and build thriving communities. Thanks to what they learn in JA, students develop ambitions beyond their own economic reward, with young people understanding that entrepreneurship is not only a means to healthy finances for themselves and their families but also a vehicle to cultivate social stability and build healthy communities. JA students and alumni create companies that offer products and services that fill a consumer need; enable an ecosystem of employees, partners, and suppliers to thrive; and also fundamentally transform the world, or at least their small corner of it. Asheesh Advani, CEO of JA Worldwide, shared his perspective in response to the nomination: 

“Peace is possible only when youth in all countries and regions have economic empowerment. By creating opportunity, prosperity, and self-belief, JA’s work empowers youth in over 100 countries with the skillset and mindset to build thriving communities. For over a century, JA has operated in areas of political instability, violence, and war, helping youth build entrepreneurship skills and economic resilience. For this work, JA Worldwide is recognized year after year as one of the top ten NGOs in the world, providing economic empowerment to millions of young people.” 

With love, wonder and gratitude. Scott