Week 23.37 My Puppy Coach

With my first book, Becoming Coachable, written with co-authors Jacquelyn Lane and Marshall Goldsmith, coming out just one week from today, you might think that my attention would be focused on the book launch and getting the word out. After all, since writing Becoming Coachable, we have received outstanding reviews and enthusiastic support from coaches, fellow thought leaders, leaders, friends, and family. But as timing would have it, my partner and I just picked up our 8-week-old puppy from the breeder. I have never had a puppy before, but those who have will know the full extent of what a puppy requires: time, attention, commitment, and love. So now I have two big commitments—a book launch and a puppy. I have chosen to view my new puppy as my coach; he is making me more coachable! Let me explain using the Openness Framework that we share in Becoming Coachable. 

To become coachable, you have to be open to change. My puppy coach is outstanding in demanding change. For example, I may have previously enjoyed sleeping through the night, but now I get up every three hours—a puppy alarm clock. I am learning to be flexible to be open to changing my plans and schedule to accommodate the needs that arise. I am learning to adjust my habits and learn new skills that raising and training a puppy requires. I am applying these lessons to my leadership and life, recognizing that areas I was previously unwilling to change are rich in opportunity. 

Becoming coachable also means being open to feedback. My puppy coach is a feedback master. If I do not quickly take the puppy outside for a walk, the input is a puddle on the floor. If I do, the feedback is a cute furball looking up at me, wagging his tail. If I hold him the right way, he snuggles in deep and might even start to snore. If I hold him the wrong way, he wriggles free. Similarly, I am learning to share my feedback with him. When he sits or does his business outside, he gets a treat—he has already come to expect this in exchange for his good behavior. It’s amazing how much feedback can be exchanged without even using words. My puppy coach is helping me think more about the powerful gift of feedback and how to get more people to be as honest and uninhibited as he is. 

My third and fourth lessons are being open to taking action and being held accountable. My puppy coach supports my ability to change and accept his feedback, but he lets me know if I am unwilling to take action. A commitment to get up in the middle of the night is only meaningful if I actually do it, and he reminds me that there are consequences for inaction. If I give into his plea for play when I have committed to his learning to be alone, he will not let me forget it. And I know that he will hold me accountable for my shortcomings over many years. My puppy coach shows me that the same holds true in my leadership; we do not get “free passes” or days off. We must commit to doing the work day after day in order to reach our desired outcomes. 

Writing Becoming Coachable has been a lesson in humility. In the writing process, I learned about many of the ways that I was not coachable. My puppy coach is continuing this work and revealing new lessons about being coachable through openness to change, feedback, action, and accountability. For Jacquelyn, Marshall, and I, Becoming Coachable is a deep exploration of ideas and inner values and, we hope, a way for more people to understand how powerful coaching is and what they need to do in order to get the most from it.. Like with my puppy coach, the work has been demanding and unrelenting, and the end product is a source of pride and satisfaction—totally worth it. We hope you will get a copy when it comes out next week (pre-order now!); read it and join us in a conversation about human flourishing. We have come very far, but we will need your support to get further. Find out more at www.becomingcoachable.com. As my puppy coach would say, “I believe in you... You can do this!” (And then I give him a treat.)

What My Friends Taught Me About Flourishing... by Bruce Kasanoff

Flourishing, in the eyes of three of my cherished friends, means to live well as you raise up the people around you. Theirs is a two-part definition, one that becomes far more enriching than the traditional "I'm doing well, thank you" understanding of the word. Becoming Coachable is a book that uses the practice of working with a coach to enable leaders to grow and flourish along with their teams, but the lessons within apply to every human being, whether you are a "leader" or a "student" or "retired" or "not sure".

One of the most important lessons I've learned in life is that people can only accept guidance when they are ready to do so. For that reason, I'm going to end here: if you find this concept of flourishing appealing, you should grab a copy of their book and thoroughly digest it.

When Your Vacation Wasn’t Exactly Relaxing by Dr. Noémie Le Pertel, EdD, MPH

Vacations are meant to be rejuvenating. Time off can not only help you restore your mind, body, and soul, it also has a positive impact on your work life: One study found that employees who take 11 or more vacation days are more likely to receive a raise or bonus. However, not all vacations are as restorative or energizing as we hope they’ll be. Chronic work stress can interfere with our plans. The phenomenon of getting sick as soon as you start to relax even has a name: leisure sickness.

Even a good vacation can sometimes be exhausting. If you don’t properly manage your time and energy when returning, your exhaustion can have a cumulative impact on your wellbeing, work, relationships, and performance. If you didn’t get what you needed from this vacation, use it as motivation to ensure that you build sustainable, energy-preserving practices into your daily life.

3 Tips to Overcome Micro-Inequities at Work by Maya Hu-Chan

One of my clients is experiencing a professional obstacle that is all too common. Susan is a passionate, driven, high-performing leader. She often has a seat at the table with other company leaders. However, she feels that although she has a seat, she does not have a voice. Susan’s often interrupted at meetings. Her contributions are brushed off or worse. Sometimes her ideas are ignored only to be repeated by a colleague the next day or even 15 minutes later, at which point they’re enthusiastically embraced by the team.

Behaviors like this can be described as micro-inequities, a term coined by MIT professor, Mary Rowe, in 1973. Micro-inequities are small, subtle behaviors that overlook, single out, or discount someone, often based on unconscious bias against characteristics such as race and gender. Now it’s not up to Susan to rewrite her colleagues’ unconscious biases. It is the job of everyone in the company to create a more inclusive environment. However, there are things Susan can do to take back power in the situation. Read this article to find out the steps that you can take if you ever find yourself in a similar situation.

With love, gratitude and wonder.

Scott