Week 24.02 The Dance Is Not The Dance
Allegra and I had been practicing our West Coast Swing dance to Coldplay's song Magic for months. She loves to dance, and I am always eager to learn something new. Sophia, our amazing dance instructor, taught us the moves and helped us understand what it means to lead and what it means to follow. She explained how, while we each had individual roles, great dance makes a duo a single entity. Progress was slow to start, but over time, we got good enough, then good, and finally pretty good. I learned how to listen to the count without counting and how to share the beat without moving my lips. She showed us how to listen to the "two count" -- the second beat, which, in this song, was the snare drum. The second beat and I were one. We practiced the dance five times the day before our public debut and knew we were ready. Then, on New Year's Eve, the night of our wedding, we got up to dance our first dance. The music began, we felt the rhythm, and something was wrong. The bass overwhelmed the snare drum, so we could not hear the second beat. Our metronome, our lifeline, the sound we had depended on, was gone. We looked at each other with looks of bewilderment and did the only thing we could think of -- we began.
Without the second beat, we danced a little more freestyle than expected, but we still knew the steps. More importantly, our hours of practicing brought us closer together, taught us more about each other, and allowed us to trust that we had this. Without the beat, we synched to each other, dancing to our rhythm rather than the songs. Instead of listening to the music, we were more sensitive to each other. And we did the only thing one can do in that situation. We laughed.
Our practice kept us steady despite being in a completely novel situation. We had come so far in the months of preparation. I had been a challenging student; any the names of common dance steps and names sounded like a foreign language to me. We had to break down each part of the process, understand the mechanics and put it into terms I understood. I finally got it, and through repetition, I adapted to the conditions. Allegra had learned to trust my lead, and even though she had trouble finding the beat, she stepped when I stepped, added a little more flourish, and sailed elegantly through the routine.
Most importantly, the unexpected change opened the experience to a more human interaction filled with levity and joy. In the face of "adversity," we let go of our expectations. Rather than dancing as we had rehearsed, we had to find our own beat. Unable to rely on the music, we relied on each other. Rather than withdraw, we leaned in. With the eyes of the room focused on us, we could be focused entirely on each other. At that moment, we realized that the dance was not the dance. We were.
In life and leadership, we can practice our part and design the play, but when the music starts, our lived experience takes on a life of its own. More importantly, when we learn to rely on our partners and our teams, we open ourselves up to a flourishing that opens up a world of possibility. Adversity brings us closer together. Letting go of our lifelines allows us to explore more expansive possibilities. And perhaps most importantly, we should remind ourselves that in most of life, the task is not the task, the goal is not the goal, the dance is not the dance. Laughing and working together with those we love and lead is where you find the beat.
With love, gratitude and wonder.
Scott
Lifeline Relationships Will Make New Year’s Resolutions Stick In 2024 by Keith Ferrazzi
As we stand on the threshold of a brand new year, New Year's Resolutions are on everyone's mind. It's that time when we promise ourselves that we'll finally hit the gym regularly, eat healthier, learn a new skill, or make a significant career change. But as the clock strikes midnight and the calendar turns to 2024, it's essential to ask yourself a critical question: Who has got your back this year to help you make those life-changing resolutions stick? Success is about more than just the numbers in your bank account. It's about creating a life that truly resonates with your deepest desires and aspirations. It's about achieving your dreams with unwavering determination. And the secret to making those big life changes happen isn't solely about your willpower or the perfect strategy; it's about having the right lifeline relationships in place. In life, we all encounter moments when we lose our way, when we need that external perspective to steer us back on course.
As you embark on this new year, remember, you don't need an army of advisors; all you need is a handful of close people, an inner circle, who understand your aspirations and challenges and you’ll achieve remarkable success. The lifeline relationships you build in 2024 will empower you to take more risks, both individually and within your group, and within your organization. Whether you're an executive, an entrepreneur, a stay-at-home parent, or anyone seeking personal growth, my deepest hope is that 2024 becomes the year you unlock your full potential and achieve your dreams in life. So, as the clock ticks down to the new year, let's make a pact to go forward together. Here's to a year filled with lifeline relationships that will help us all make our New Year's Resolutions not just empty promises but life-changing realities. Happy New Year, and let's make 2024 our year of transformation!
Why Live Customer Service Wins the Loyalty Race by Rhett Power
Our world has become very disconnected. People are seldom without their smartphones — they are often preoccupied with them even at social dinners and kids’ ball games. The human part of life has slowly deteriorated, which is why people are yearning for more interactions.
In an era dominated by technological advancements and automated solutions, companies that value the power of human connection will stand out. Customers prefer human interaction. A 2023 survey reveals that 77% of all U.S. consumers find chatbots frustrating, and 88% would rather speak to a person. While chatbots and automated systems are on the rise, those incorporating a human touch are more likely to cultivate and retain loyal customers.
In a world where everyone is becoming more disconnected, brands that slow down to ensure their customers are cared for will make a big impact. The integration of human touch in customer service is a step towards rebuilding the connection that is being lost in the digital age. It’s about reinstating the essence of empathy, understanding, and genuine assistance that machines have yet to replicate. This human-centric approach not only cultivates trust but also establishes a brand identity that resonates with authenticity and care.
Investing in Emotions: An Executive Coach's Guide to Personal Fulfillment by Dean Miles - Executive Coach
Through my journey, I've come to embrace a profound realization, strongly echoed by the words of a highly successful billionaire. He spoke of life as an "emotional experience," a perspective that deeply resonates with me. His willingness to invest significantly in enhancing his emotional journey aligns closely with my own beliefs about the transformative power of personal growth. I understand now more than ever that our emotional well-being is not just a part of life; it's the foundation of our entire experience. The way we handle emotions, confront stress, and connect with others fundamentally shapes every aspect of our existence. This realization has been a guiding force in my approach to executive coaching, emphasizing its role as a crucial tool in enriching life's emotional journey.
In a world often preoccupied with immediate, tangible results, I advocate for a different approach. I believe in the importance of prioritizing long-term, intangible growth, focusing on emotional and mental well-being. This perspective has driven my coaching philosophy and approach.