Week 24.33 [Best of] You Can't Hear Your Own Microphone

I have always been a technophile, so when the pandemic happened and we transitioned to working and living in a Zoom world, I naturally upgraded the quality of the equipment I depended on for many hours daily. After trying to get digital cameras to work, I settled on Logitech's excellent 4k Brio Webcam. As a former photographer, I knew lighting would be necessary, so I selected Elgato Key lights for pleasing, dependable illumination. I have jumped around for microphones from the AT 2020 USB to the Shure MV7 to now using a RodeCasterDuo mixer with the Shure and the Rode PodMic. Getting the quality of the visuals right was easy - what you see is what you get. Audio is a little different. I heard what I sounded like through various microphones only when I started appearing on podcasts. I’ve now learned that I can also listen to my audio feed using headphones. Still, my voice's internal sound distorts how I hear myself on air. More importantly, it got me thinking about when it is tough to listen to ourselves, especially when we think we see ourselves accurately.

Marshall Goldsmith frequently talks about leaders feeling like they have all the answers or subconsciously have to prove how smart they are. People in positions of leadership often control the microphone (physically and metaphorically) and too consistently fail to hear themselves the way others do. Sanyin Siang constantly reminds leaders that they don't need a microphone; their position amplifies their words in ways they are unaware of. When I speak on a Zoom call, I cannot tell if the sound is loud or soft - only the person on the other end of the call can give me a sound check. When a leader speaks, the occasional sound check might be a good way to test and modulate the volume.

Our tone often says more than our words. And we may intend a certain tone, but it may be received differently by those we lead. When I first heard a recording of my voice from my AT microphone it was a little bright and scratchy, making me sound anxious and rushed. When I switched to the Shure, the tone was warmer and richer. It felt like I was talking less, with more intention and confidence. Like my microphone, it is tough to hear how the receiver interprets our words. When we speak, we listen to what we intend to say, not what the listener hears. It is not only about the words; it is the cadence, the tone behind the words, the intonation and inflection, and even the emotions of the listener as they enter the conversation. Great leaders understand how to decode both sides of the dialogue, hear intently what is being said, and communicate so that others understand the message as intended.

If you cannot hear your own microphone, it is critical to have someone on the other side of the call give you honest feedback. There are many reasons to have trusted confidants, collaborators, and coaches; honest, objective feedback has to be at the top of the list. Hearing feedback clearly and without judgment is an art unto itself. Knowing how you are being listened to is the key to tuning the system to deliver the words the way you want them heard (my friend Connie Dieken is an expert at this). We know our meaning so well it is hard to imagine how others might interpret us. We think that, as leaders, we have the latitude to speak informally or casually - I am coming to the understanding that it is best to assume that is never the case. The more power and influence we have, the more we are always “on”. Some of the biggest blunders in recent memory have been when someone didn't know the microphone was on - an extreme case of not hearing your microphone!

When we become leaders, we also take on a role. We are entrusted with making decisions that influence lives, and we have the potential to create meaningful change and impact around us. With great power comes great responsibility. Knowing that we cannot hear our own microphones is a powerful reminder that we need to be sensitive in how we love and lead. This sensitivity starts with understanding our words' weight and their impact. Like fine-tuning a microphone for clarity and warmth, we must tune our communication to be clear, empathetic, and effective. Ultimately, the ability to listen—truly listen—to others and to ourselves is what distinguishes good leaders from great ones. It's not just about speaking; it's about ensuring our message resonates as we intend, creating an environment where everyone feels heard and valued.

With love, gratitude, and wonder,

Scott

When a Team Member Speaks Up — and It Doesn’t Go Well by Megan Reitz and Amy Edmondson

Speaking up — and being heard — in organizations is critical, but failed attempts to speak up happen often at work and can lead people to silence themselves and others in the long run. Instead, leaders and team members should frame such situations as opportunities to learn. But this isn’t easy; it can be difficult to recognize such moments as learning opportunities; it can be difficult to move beyond counterproductive emotions like shame and blame,;and we tend to be too busy and focused on the short term to learn. The authors’ research and experience have shown that the antidote starts with all team members, including the leader, explicitly framing such interactions as experiments from which everyone expects to learn; preparing for them; paying attention to them; implementing certain process tools; and thinking more long-term about learning.

Overcome Your Fear of Giving Feedback by Deborah Riegel

Managers often have pre-conceived notions that can act as a barrier to giving timely, helpful, and honest performance feedback. Three of the most common preconceived notions are: 1) the feedback conversation is going to be long and drawn out; 2) the feedback needs to be perfect; and 3) the feedback might be taken the wrong way. It’s understandable that you don’t want to upset your direct reports. Nevertheless, other people’s reactions and responses to feedback are largely out of your control. Whether an employee takes it personally, gets defensive, bursts into tears, rejects it, questions it, or accepts the feedback is based on many extenuating factors. However, you do need to commit to making your part of the conversation as helpful and productive as possible. This includes articulating a positive intention for the feedback, being clear about what you’re observing and requesting, naming the impact, focusing on strengths, developing actionable next steps, and delivering the feedback with care and curiosity.

The 4 Types Of Mentors And The Best Kind Of Mentoring Relationships by Rebecca Zucker

In her latest book, The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring, Ruth Gotian, Ed.D., M.S. emphasizes the critical role mentors play in achieving success, often highlighted in the acknowledgements of business books. Despite the known benefits of mentoring, many people fail to pursue these relationships actively. Gotian notes that while 76% of people understand the value of having a mentor, only 37% actually engage in mentoring relationships. Mentors help individuals grow by sharing knowledge and opportunities, yet many overlook their impact.

Gotian categorizes mentors into four types: tormentors, vanilla mentors, good mentors, and great mentors. She advises against relying solely on a boss for mentorship due to potential conflicts of interest and recommends building a team of mentors to cover diverse needs and perspectives. Informal mentoring, which occurs naturally, is often more effective than formal programs. For professional growth, it’s crucial to seek out and cultivate relationships with mentors who offer valuable insights and opportunities.