Week 21.45 Hold that Thought
Last week I was talking with my friend Will who was up for a very exciting coaching assignment. His response to me was “I hope that I can be of service” which is typical Will, always putting others first. In a moment of quick response, I texted back, “You should be delighted that you are being considered for this assignment, you are ready for the work and it will be great for you!” His response, again, typical Will, was “Thank you for reminding me.” It reminded me of my own habit of thinking it is always important to put the other person first, to be of service, to be humble. It reminded me of some coaching I had gotten recently to put myself first. And then it occurred to me. Too often we think ideas are in opposition when they are not. Will can hope to be of service and be excited by the assignment. By breaking the false narrative that two ideas cannot coexist, we can create an entirely new space to operate and create growth.
Think of the times when you are in a meeting, conversation, or perhaps an argument. You and the other person have taken sides on an issue and are trying to prove that your side is right. Perhaps you are talking about allocation of resources, or what kind of employee you want to hire, or where to go on vacation. By shifting the focus from my idea or your idea to the recognition that both ideas have merit will inform a new approach that will create a richer solution. And, in the process, both people will be heard, feel that their idea was considered, and often learn something in the process.
Another example that comes to mind is a tension that is often found between people who want independence and people who want collaboration. On the surface, these approaches are in conflict. One group wants to make its own decisions without being told. The other group wants to have a voice in coming to the collective agreement. In most cases, there is room for the independent people to listen to the voice of the collaborator and still go their own way. And there is room for the collaborator to allow the independent person to make their own decision after they hear what the collaborator has to say. When each side accepts the other side's approach, they create the potential to create space for a new way forward.
Even in the thorniest cases when you have two objectives competing for your attention, you will do better by accepting that they are both important and finding a way to work them both into your solution. This is beyond “either-or” and “and both” and into the world of alchemy. It is accepting that there are options beyond choosing one or the other or both. It is beyond thinking of finding compromise and finding a middle ground. It is accepting that the desire for both can inspire thinking that expands the possibilities. Psychology refers to cognitive dissonance as the perception of contradictory information that leads to mental stress. F. Scott Fitzgerald famously wrote: “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." We can hold two opposing ideas at the same time to provoke new solutions that allow us to thrive.
Life and leadership require us to embrace the poetry of incongruity. Through vulnerability we find strength. Through fearlessness we find safety. A leader holds two thoughts, not in contradiction but in acceptance that they need to coexist. There is knowledge to be found in the space where two ideas seem to be in conflict. We are forced to see beyond the simple answers, to explore foreign, uncomfortable, or conflicting ideas to create a new answer that transforms the conflict into a compound. Hold that thought.
Week 48 of 52 Weeks of Giving: Feeding America
Feeding America is the nation’s largest domestic hunger-relief organization. Thanks to donations and support from businesses, government organizations, and individuals like you, the Feeding America network of food banks, pantries, and meal programs serve virtually every community in the United States — 40 million people, including 12 million children and 7 million seniors. The Feeding America network provides over 4.3 billion meals annually, helping 1 in 7 Americans facing hunger live more secure and stable lives. To learn more click on www.feedingamerica.org
Leader to Leader: From Frances Hesselbein, Co-editor in Chief Leader to Leader
After so many years of dear friendship and camaraderie, I am so excited to announce that Sarah McArthur and I will now work together, partnering as co-editors in chief of Leader to Leader. An editor, writer, advisor, and thought leader who has spent many years in the leadership, management, and executive coaching fields, Sarah is currently working with our #1 Leader of the Future award recipient, former CEO of Boeing and Ford, Alan Mulally. And as you know, Sarah served for two decades as chief operating officer for Thinkers50 #1 Leadership Thinker Marshall Goldsmith and is a founding member of Marshall’s 100 Coaches.
Now Sarah is bringing to Leader to Leader her knowledge and experience in executive coaching, organization and leadership development, and behavioral change. We are so thrilled that Sarah has joined our team. We know she will bring to Leader to Leader her thoughtful and inspired focus on “working together towards a bright future.” And, we welcome each of you to reach out to Sarah about contributing your important writings to our Apex award-winning journal.
Fondly, Frances Hesselbein Former CEO Girl Scouts, Presidential Medal of Freedom Recipient, President, and CEO
All Rise with Sally Helgesen (now on Substack)
Sally has been mining the extraordinary wisdom of the 100 Coaches network as she works on her next book, Rising Together. She’ll be looking at the practices that best support men and women as they work together as well as the triggers most likely to get in the way. She writes "This is the most exciting work I’ve ever done and I wanted an opportunity to test out ideas and stories while in the process of writing. I also wanted to begin building a community of men and women committed to these goals before the book sees the light of day." To share what she’s learning in real-time, and mine the decades of work that led up to it, she’s created a weekly Substack newsletter. It premiered two weeks ago and has been getting traction. Please subscribe!
Thinker50 Awards are next week
This year marks the 20th anniversary of the first-ever Thinkers50 Ranking and will see business and management thinkers from around the world sharing two days of ideas, inspiration, and celebration. The anniversary as well as the current disruption caused by the pandemic gave us the opportunity to re-think our biennial event. Thinkers50 2021 is an opportunity to recognize the very best in management thinking. It is also your chance to participate in a curated conversation with your fellow Thinkers50 community members to shape a more humane and sustainable future for the world – and make a difference through ideas with purpose. For more information go to www.thinkers50.com.
Four Ways To Be An Impact Player At Your Job by Rebecca Zucker
Rebecca spoke with Liz Wiseman, author of the new book “Impact Players: How to Take the Lead, Play Bigger, and Multiply Your Impact” to get to the bottom of what people can do to make sure they’re having an impact in their role. While much has been said about what leaders need to do to foster environments where people can be their most impactful, Liz Wiseman focuses on what those being led can add to the equation. When they’re at their best, Wiseman refers to these employees as “impact players” that stand out and make life easier for everyone around them, and she has some tips on how you can be one yourself. READ HERE
And, as always, thank you, Marshall, for making all of this possible.
With love and gratitude
Scott